My fault entirely, officer.

It's not every day you find yourself responsible for a crime wave.  But there it was on my Polo windscreen; a robust j'accuse from Ipswich police.

"There has been," it said ominously, "a recent spate of car crime in this area.  Cars and vans are being broken into because people are leaving things on display."  There follows a list of instructions including closing and locking doors and windows (now I'd never have thought of that myself), removing your stereo fascia (mine doesn't remove), and "leave nothing on display, not even a jumper or a jacket.  An offender might break in to see if you had hidden anything under it."

Hence my ticket: not only did my back seat contain a week-old Daily Telegraph and a pair of 99p sunglasses, but a black jacket.  I went to a funeral on the way.  There could have been an iPod under that, madam!  But hell, there could have been one in the glove compartment.  A red mist rises.  It's that smug opening sentence: "Cars and vans are being broken into because people are leaving things on display." 
Wrong, officer!  Vehicle are broken into because greedy lowlifes decide to.  Their job is made easier by the absence of street policing, and that Ipswich council thinks it is OK to charge £4.20 a day for an unattended car park with no CCTV.  Citizens who leave sweaters on the back seat are not the cause of the crime.  Criminals are.

But police rhetoric says otherwise.  They could have written: "With a spate of break-ins, we are being extra vigilant, but be careful."  But no - it is our fault.  A couple of years ago I parked briefly and returned to find a boot-faced teenage cop by the car.  It was locked, but my ancient mobile was visible if you peered closely.  "Behaviour like this," scolded the lad, "pushes up our crime statistics." 
Sometimes it is hard not to knock their hats off and stamp on them.

My instinct is to support the police.  But it was more than bad phrasing, that ticket.  There is a street-smart police mindset which sees crime as the norm and victims as stupid.  Easier to preach at the meek compliant citizen than to chase a thieving scally.

At a time when police want vast new powers of detention, you would think they need all the friends they can get.  Even the kind of irresponsible desperados who leave jackets on the back seat.

(With acknowledgments to Libby Purves and The Times)