The Hypnotist

A woman comes home in high spirits.
She tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?"
"What about them?" he asks.
"Well, they're gone," she says, with a big grin on her face.
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist.  He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.'  It worked!  The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband practises in their bedroom for a few days.
He masturbates into a wonderful erection, and she hears him having some wonderful orgasms.
One day he comes home, undresses to his best white vest and underpants.
Looking very sexy, he picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He helps her to undress to her underwear and lays her on the bed.
"Don't move, I'll be right back", he says as he goes into the bathroom.
A few minutes later he comes back and is fondling a wonderful erection.
She trembles with excitement and rubs herself through her knickers in eager anticipation.
He gets onto the bed and carefully lowers her knickers.
Getting between her legs, he makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "You like that?  Don't move!  I will be right back."
He carefully pulls up her knickers and goes back into the bathroom.
Hearing his chanting voice in the distance, she gently masturbates in the hope of - - - - - !
Soon he returns, and his erection is even better!
She plays with it while he gently lowers her knickers again.
This sex session was even better than the first time.
The wife lays back, her head still spinning with exquisite orgasms.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He pulls up her knickers and goes back into the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly gets up and follows him.
There, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror.
He is masturbating furiously. She hears him repeating to the mirror,
"She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"
His funeral service will be held on Monday.